Friday, July 25, 2008

Comment This

When Lucia Pamela approached me with the idea for this blog, I couldn't have been more excited.

When the posts began, my level of excitement tripled.

And then, people who weren't us began to read the blog--which is beyond thrilling.

And then, they started commenting.

Fuck that.

The very first comment on the very first post, reads as such:

I got laid off in May of 2007. So I do ask for the nickel back.

Our reader is, of course, referring to Lucia Pamela's post in which she describes bringing her own reusable sack to the Whole Foods and being asked if she'd like to donate the FIVE CENT refund to the Tree People. Lucia Pamela's ire is second to none when she hears that people actually do want the nickel back.

Our reader is one of the nickel-takers because, as she says, she got laid off in May of 2007. I'll almost buy that the nickel is important to her. I'm freelance and being out of work even for a month sucks--I can't imagine being unemployed for over a year! Of course, when I'm not working, I tend to not shop at the most expensive grocery store on the planet, tree people be damned. I was intrigued by our readers' situation, so I clicked on over to her blog, which reveals that she actually has a job.

What. The. Hell?

Why are you pretending to be out of work for a Comment on a Blog? What's going on over there? I, for one, am not interested in hearing from a Bliar™! (*One who lies via Blog!) It's a good thing she likes Dunkin' Donuts. It's her only saving grace.

While I was all bitched up about this one, I made the mistake of looking at the only other comment on our blog. I became blind with rage when I read what Anonymous had to say:

What does ABU think about men who use the ladies room when the mens room is full at a restaurant? It's cutting in a way. But, I'm always sure to leave the seat cleaner than I found it, which usually isn't hard.

First of all, anonymous, this isn't Who's Line Is It Anyway. We're not taking suggestions on what to bitch about. Do you see Wayne Brady listed as a contributor? Believe you me, we have plenty of things to complain about on our own without you throwing your two cents in. (Calm down, Nickel-Taker Bliar™... it's just a figurative two cents.)

Secondly, what the hell are you talking about? Where are you going that the men's room is full at a restaurant? This isn't happening in real life, unless you're at a gay bar. And you shouldn't be eating at gay bars. Gross.

Thirdly: Shhhhhhhhh.

I don't want to bite the hands that feed us, but people please be aware: If you're going to leave comments, don't be the very people we're all bitched up about.


Lucia Pamela said...

Gay bars have ladies rooms? What ladies? Lesbians use urinals, don't they? (That's the one reason I envy them. Well, that and their upper body strength.)

JR said...

Those that have been seen eating at gay bars shouldn't throw stones.

I'm just sayin'...